Are you happy?

I hate it when my performance fluctuates. Like a lady's moodswings. (in general) It sucks how a single instrument can either make or break a set. Its sucks how a single instrument can make or break a person's day.

I believe in perfection through practice. But I cant. Well, at least not right now. It is a skill picked up through experience. I'm not going to get any experience locked up at home and practicing all day. I want to get better. I really do. In fact, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I don't.

I cant comprehend myself. What makes me happy really? Music? I feel that it is just a medium in which the truth is smothered. I cant face reality so I consume myself with music instead.


I keep giving in.