thoughts & feelings

2008-09-08T23:46:00.002+08:00

IN ROCK WE TRUST!!

nearest mrt - WOODLANDS MRT

get tickets through me at preorder price of $12

no worries about school the next day, the gig will end by 9

four hours off your textbooks and pure awesome fun!

contact me at alphaone431_lee@msn.com or 92704748 for tix

2008-08-04T21:19:00.000+08:00

livejournal

2008-07-30T10:38:00.005+08:00

... and the conversation dies.

God,

In what way have I wronged, that such animosities would befall upon me?

Get back to me.

2008-07-29T23:51:00.000+08:00

I'm sick as hell and it feels like someone hit me all over when I was asleep.
I think somebody hates me.

2008-07-27T00:37:00.002+08:00

I am so confused where do I start oh jeese lets play dota. (i would play the drums, but if only)

2008-07-24T23:28:00.003+08:00

Inspired By The $

I want this. Sabian Neil Peart Paragon China 19"
and this. LP Black Beauty Cowbell LP204

and to do this

Mother: Study hard.

2008-07-23T22:23:00.002+08:00

Because, I spend my afternoons studying, I have no life thank you very much.

2008-07-23T00:05:00.005+08:00

War sucks! Lets party.

Thats the biggest it could go.
Anyways, today was a happy (is a yuppie word) day cause I didn't let anything get in my way. Not even my rad haircut.

Ps: Helios, don't sleep until you've slapped 1000 times. Jt, eat medcine and get well.

Oh, I almost forgot.
Today somebody yelped in excitement when he or she finally managed to form an equation - x=r+x-r. :D Might or might not be the latter person.

2008-07-21T20:16:00.004+08:00

Song Shlong

I totally forgot what I came online for.

Oh right. Josh left.
During his stay we jammed for a bit and mixed some recordings. That makes me smile.
Played with Douche Dundah!, Deej's barker band.

More smiles.

It was a joy to meet and hang out with those dudes. \m/
Helios is improving,
And uh. Jt found out a quicker way of transfering songs into his ipod.

2008-07-20T00:23:00.005+08:00

Douche Dundah! 2

So i heard some ac independant prefects say that Barker won the damn show by 60 votes, but they had to crown (i) the winners for the sake of saving face or something like that. Guess they lost more dignity than they tried to salvage.

Plainsunset gigs rucking fock.

2008-07-19T00:36:00.006+08:00

Douche Dundah!

Battle of the bands was awesome. Deej's band rocked out with their licks, and their lead vox (winner of teenage icon) basically stole the whole show. Helios got f*king drunk on 18 year old gold label and started swearing in every other sentance he mouthed, and this is as far as it goes. (I'm a nice guy. Ask him if you wish.) But overall, the night was epic. Barker rocked hard and deserved to win but, with independant.. Guess they had a bigger fan base?
Anyways, to Uresh, Tim, Dj, Barney, Andrew and Uriah, I am your no.1 fan! So is Josh. And, Andrew, you're not a creep. Stop singing that song.

I got home a little wasted, and I probably should go to bed.

2008-07-18T00:12:00.004+08:00

As confused as loud.

My indecisiveness is killing me. Right now, I've got some thoughts jumbled in my head - to, or not to, to go for it or give it up. It was getting nowhere and I really didn't want to put any more thought into it, so I decided to distract myself with a game of dota. I realised that I couldn't hold up 2 A.I Insane heroes with a Dwarven Sniper, and I wasn't really satisfied so I tried over and over, and I basically wasted the night away. Oh crap. Math homework not done.

2008-07-12T00:28:00.000+08:00

When this like these happen, it makes me question what I really want.

2008-07-11T23:35:00.003+08:00

I'll be your distraction

I shall blog in point form for the first time.

MY LEFT HAND IS UCKIN SLOW!
I need a distraction. Handphone games are getting boring. (I won the tennis WTA cup in 2 days)
I learnt Krav Maga.

2008-07-06T01:42:00.003+08:00

Hammers and Hearts.

Technically, I wouldn't say the set was freaky styley, (I don't know if it was even a set) but being surrounded by good friends and a sweet, cosy cheer was more than I could ask for. Sharing the somewhat "stage" with the people I know was definitely a perk in addition to that. Colleen, I thought you did really well tonight, My Heart was awesome. Don't look so down aye love, singing with you has been the best thing ever since. :)

I've always pictured myself sharing the stage with the people I know, and making the best sound around. The euphoric moment is priceless.
Today marks the death of Daniel Joshua the drummer.

My sincere gratitude to all who willingly came down today.
Hope to see you at our other shows. (Fooyoh!)

I kid.

2008-07-03T22:04:00.004+08:00

Guilt trip holiday

I'm somewhere in between feel and good, and I hope that's the way it'll turn out this weekend.

Awesome long weekend lined up starting from tomorrow, with Ken Kok Wah's birthday bash. (I shant reveal anything, except that Yun and I will be up early to get it tomorrow. Somewhat close to what I got last year.) Ben & Jerry's on saturday, Festival For a Future the day after. Followed by a sleepover at my place, and a not so awesome project day Monday. I know Prelims are just 'round the corner and rocking out's gonna feel terrible but.. This'll be the last time I swear.

Ps: Josh'll be arriving tomorrow night.
Pps: Really, really guilty.

2008-06-29T22:40:00.001+08:00

night so cold.

2008-06-29T22:22:00.000+08:00

When the world talks, who listens?

2008-06-29T17:56:00.003+08:00

I hope it doesn't make you feel old, watching me grow up.

It feels like times flew by so fast, it didn't stop a second for me to take a second glance. My relationship with Colleen has one way or another (i have no idea how this is related) taught me to love my mother for who she is, and come to accept the fact that "the Mother is always right." This unobligatory love, is un-repayable.

I hugged my mom today. When was the last time you did?

2008-06-26T23:43:00.002+08:00

I've changed my number. Im me for it!

2008-06-21T23:32:00.001+08:00

All I want to hear at the end of a bad day is you.

2008-06-20T22:26:00.002+08:00

Embrace it.

Stop standing at the edge. Dive in already!

Is it possible to fall in love twice?

2008-06-19T16:53:00.002+08:00

Kate is still my best girl. She only makes me feel one thing, and that is euphoria.

2008-06-19T16:20:00.000+08:00

Unlike the many other times, I managed to dig deep and pulled out some testicular fortitude to reflect on how I really felt, from under all the reluctance that many a times convinced me to put on a song and everything'll be okay. I realised that at this very moment, I'm afraid. Nothing is very certain after all. One wrong move or decision could indefinitely be the last.

Long bus rides.

2008-06-19T15:50:00.002+08:00

Worthless.

I am this close to mouthing the 4 words that we'd all hate to hear.

2008-06-18T10:29:00.001+08:00

It Hurts To Smile

Eating's a chore. Hot soup should have smoke.

2008-06-17T01:49:00.005+08:00

Sleepless nights

To be actually doing a meme I'm either fkn bored or dead drunk.

1) At what age do you wish to marry?
Cool question.

2) Study hard or play hard?
Its obvious but what usually happens in the process is the latter.

3) Who is the person you trust the most?
Person? No one.

4) Do you think you have enough confidence?
Not as of now.

5) If you can have a dream, what would it be?
Earning big bucks while doing what I love, with who I love.

6) Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
I don't believe in chance.

7) What is your goal for this year?
Get into college with 13 points max.

8) Do you believe in eternity love?
Difficult but possible.

9) Have you broken someone's heart that he/she tried to commit suicide?
Haha. Thats just stupid.

10) What feeling do you love the most?
During the high of a set. After a lift tackle.

11) What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
uhm. female. short thumb..

12) What feeling do you hate the most?
Baaacks..

13) Do you cherish every friendship of yours?
Only those worth cherishing.

14) What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
The Blues.

15) Who do you hope to be always there for you?
"always" is overrated.

16) Do you believe in God?
Which God?

17) Who is your best friend?
Besties are for people like you kno who and you kno who who sleep together in class.

18) Who cares for you the most?
The one who cooks my meals.

2008-06-16T22:57:00.007+08:00

Been A While Indeed

Hi. How are you? Im fine thanks. Not too much to report. Jammed, camped and Kung Fu Panda-ed (twice) in the past week. Thankfully Gid Rayle youth camp was a success and probably so was jamming.

Cheers to peeling skin and faint weariness of the mind to blog. And or think.

Pokemon ftw.

2008-06-15T22:36:00.002+08:00

Just Fallen

You're sleeping. Why do you frown so much, whats on your mind?

2008-06-09T21:12:00.000+08:00

Port Dickson ftw!

2008-06-09T20:50:00.002+08:00

Polysics

Loose lips might sink ships, but not this one.
Its easier said than done. No matter how hard you try.

2008-06-06T14:01:00.006+08:00

Someone raised the price of dying to maximum vent again.

Time after time i've been let down, disappointed. Distraught. If its something you really love, it wouldn't be so hard.

Hope died. And someone's the murderer.

2008-06-05T23:31:00.008+08:00

Nostalgia and Presents

Its been a long run. An endless losing struggle to keep up with change - The Only Constant.

When past met the present the difference screamed they wern't the same. One keeps you glad, the other doesn't make you sad. Your fingers, they bled a thousand words. And your stars, these eyes, they told the same.

One foot embeded in the convulsions of his brain, the other out the door. Pick a side he said.

The raindrops started to darken the pavement.
But no one tried stopped the rain. No one could. But now, the storm's over.

Actually,
When I was.

You wern't.

2008-06-05T00:12:00.002+08:00

I blame my cousin for introducing me to his world of retro rock and his 80s shiz. Its so thrashy its not good for the soul and the funk music I'm supposed to prepare for (both write and improvise) when Os scosh b'Josh regresses with his mates in July. (sax, bass and jazz keys) But no doubt I'm hooked alright. This is good stuff.

2008-06-04T22:00:00.001+08:00

His heart was too heavy to hold

I had a friend who died for something he really loved.
I had a friend who stood for none of the above.
I had a friend whose experience was riddled with scars.
I had a friend who'd love to scare you, as was his affections.
And tremble you did, cause you weren't worthy of his friendship.

Ice tea, red wine and jamming do Not mix. Trust me. (jamming was freaky styley btw)
Forgetting the nasty concoction, At The Drive-In kicks ass. Not literally, but they sure sound like they would. They were The screamo. 90s style. \m/

2008-06-04T13:53:00.000+08:00

The thousandth apology don't mean a thing anymore.

2008-06-04T13:19:00.003+08:00

Colleen's supposed to come over and watch Juno and August Rush, so I got up early expecting her.. But thanks to sleep once again, my morning plans are ruined. Barely managed to find a time when everyone's free to jam, and we're going in an hour. But right now Deej's making his specs, Seran just went home to get his stuff, Helios is playing lan (why am I not suprised) and Colleen is not answering her calls. Bffft.

Oh and me? I just read everyone of your blogs on my links. Yes, even your retardedly long posts, Jillyn. Entirely.

2008-06-02T01:50:00.001+08:00

Man can't stand as man alone in the bigness of the world, but out there, its one man for himself. The irony.

2008-06-01T01:03:00.002+08:00

Coldplay - The Scientist

Freaky cool. We're doing this for acoustics btw.

2008-05-28T23:50:00.001+08:00

Jt's shoulder operation is tomorrow morning. Lets keep him in prayer.

2008-05-26T22:27:00.009+08:00

turn it up now or you would just fluster the video later on

Heres Andy Mckee, his songs touch me. And Jillyn owes me a meal.

Jillyn says:
Say thank you and buy me a meal
HAHAH
(#)Danj: Freaky Styley says:
thank you and buy me a meal
HAH now you owe me a meal. ;)

2008-05-22T23:13:00.003+08:00

Scam or bargain

I got bottled Seasons iced tea for SD$1.30 today for what its worth.

2008-05-21T23:53:00.001+08:00

you will live alone with your chemicals and gin.

2008-05-18T22:39:00.004+08:00

This I gotta post.

Josh. Well, he.. got drunk.

(#)Danj: Freaky Styley says:
whats your name?
*
You have just sent a nudge.
*
(R)Josh says:
josh armedaus stevie mayer ray frusciante marshall hendrix
(#)Danj: Freaky Styley says:
whats your girlfriend's name?
(R)Josh says:
tits mcgee
(#)Danj: Freaky Styley says:
why have you not told me about her!
(R)Josh says:
paparazzi!
(#)Danj: Freaky Styley says:
oh i see
so have you two slept together?
(R)Josh says:
yes
next
(#)Danj: Freaky Styley says:
did you use a condom?
(R)Josh says:
XL
next
you in the back
(#)Danj: Freaky Styley says:
what was it like?
(R)Josh says:
like riding across a rainbow on a unicorn
now, mr bond
taste my pain
pccboom (horny banana emoticon)

(#)Danj: Freaky Styley says:
what was her name again?
(R)Josh says:
tits mcgee
(#)Danj: Freaky Styley says:
mm..
(R)Josh says:
lololololol
now drink
drink
drink drink drink drink drink drink drink drink drink drink drink drink drink drink drink

2008-05-18T21:51:00.005+08:00

It rests, it breaks.

Today was the kind'a day where you're skipping through your ipod in shuffle mode to find out how you really feel.
Apart from the disappointment I faced, (with, not in), and an absolute unnecessary waste of time and money, I felt that the time spent with another single fellow being you could relate to was indeed priceless. I felt the closeness in all the adversity, and I was happy.

2008-05-14T22:38:00.002+08:00

Anyway the wind blows.

They say innocence is bliss. I hope it is.

2008-05-13T00:44:00.001+08:00

Its contagious. And it spreads like wildfire.

2008-05-10T23:20:00.006+08:00

Contentment

All I wanted was sincere honest company, and that was what I got. Conviviality at its purest form, and I am more than grateful. Cheers to Yun, Elisha, Ken and Colleen, my love. To second chances, closing the door that I have successfully reopened. That some people that you least expected actually do look out for you. All the birthday wishes and, last but not least, all the friendly deeds.

I lay with her one afternoon, wrapped up against the cold, and it was the best hour of my life. I felt then that the adherence, and the little pits in human flesh, were all linked together for some great end right out of the net of words to catch. Not just my words, but anyone's. Then I lost it. Time came back. For always.

2008-05-04T02:19:00.002+08:00

The result of a constant request:

Indecision - the biggest waste of time.
Guess I don't show it, but right now I don't wanna feel a thing. The deathly shrills of silence has gotten me into a headlock.
Its ironic how senseless screams and growls can silence the perpetual screaming. Maybe its enthusiasm unnoticed or the numbing silence, cold to the touch.
Whatever it is, it's turned me into a self regarding, impatient little bastard, who derives pleasure from being in his own narcissistic little world, who just doesn't want to feel.

I guess I've been too dependent.
I guess the past and the future, don't hold the same responsibilities.

2008-05-03T12:37:00.002+08:00

5 months and 1 (plus 2)

What is it like to spark off magic from your fingers? I bet its freakin awesome. But I'd never know. Not soon.

The beauty of a moment is that its fleeting.
:)

2008-04-21T16:23:00.002+08:00

Right now, things seem so skin-deep, so technological, so matter-of-fact. Like theres nothing more to what it seems, with subtle nuances of an easy satisfaction. So superficial, so blinding, so binding, so deafening.

2008-04-16T22:43:00.001+08:00

my girlfriend - the geek

2008-04-08T19:15:00.004+08:00

The Acrid Truth

Twice only doubles the guilt.
Twice only doubles the fallacy.

I got nothing and I gave everything.

Things flying, fleeing, getting hurt. Hopes abolished, and their effort unnoticed. Honour, glory, traditions of the service - they're all bull.

2008-04-07T20:21:00.004+08:00

We're chasing heaven as it fades into black.
Can't get it back,
No, we can't get it back..

2008-04-06T21:26:00.002+08:00

God-Boys

Has anyone ever looked at you in the eyeballs, staring into the back of your head, made a commitment and meant it? Every phonetic entity mouthed a double edged truth to sustain a double edged promise. All the words spoke of death and glory. And his eyes told the same. Isn't this the moment we have all been waiting for? Take heart now. This is it, do you feel it?

2008-04-05T23:09:00.000+08:00

don't ask.

2008-04-01T00:08:00.003+08:00

PLASTIC

When a star is being pushed to its limits, it looks for the easiest way out.
the silence is deadly

2008-04-01T00:02:00.004+08:00

If what we call love doesn't take us beyond ourselves, it is not really love. If we have the idea that it is chracterised as cautious, wise, sensable, shrewd and never taken to extremes, we have missed the true meaning. This may describe affection and it might bring a warm feeling, but it is not a true and accurate description of love.

-someone i know

2008-03-31T20:05:00.002+08:00

Minacious Marked Monday.

Today - Unsatisfactory.

2008-03-30T23:12:00.001+08:00

Amatuer Takes Control

[Music plays..]
Colleen: I didn't know explosions in the sky was in town!

2008-03-30T00:12:00.005+08:00

Day before the eve of something that might have been special

What do I feel like doing now? Pick up my sticks and hit metal and plastic to a groovy sensual rhythm, or simply pumping the bass while grindin' the ride for a climatic experience - the usual. Haven't touched a drumset in an eternity and a day now, its just like an orgasm waiting to explode.
Helios is learning the bass, which is making it a closer reality.

The into of Die Alone by Withered Tree is one of those intros you do not mind rewinding and listen to on repeat. But I do think their title is a bit cliched. Fyi, their drummer is sick. Btw, my elbow(s) are bailing on me. Oh, 30th March ftw!
lol (lots of love) <--- keith.

2008-03-26T21:11:00.003+08:00

I believe this is the start of something painful

The day didn't quite end off with a bang. So when one of the staff from them insurance/bank agencies approached me for the second time, I replied, "Yeah, I'm in the army." Naturally, she started explaining something about a saving's account to me.

(Students can't open a savings account apparently. The first time they asked if I was in the army and for some of my time, I said I was still studying. So to all reading this, guys with shaved heads are not necessarily in the army. Don't be fooled!)

It was just harmless fun, I thought. A friendly chat and a nice game of pretend might just cheer me up. SO, I was Samuel, 18, in the army and playing rugby for SAFSA for that half hour. As I was drifting in and out, I was wondering how the hell she didn't notice I was in school pants, carrying books around, and other give away factors like such. After about 30 mins or so I got bored and said I had to be home for dinner. I should be expecting a call this weekend. One which I am not going to answer.
Thank god the road show ends this Sunday.

2008-03-25T18:10:00.001+08:00

Pressure

Hockey's done it. It only builds.

2008-03-24T21:09:00.002+08:00

Shampions?

The game would be decided by the first team that cracks.
Guess whose team that was?

See you on the field, bro. You better be hanging in there.

2008-03-23T19:10:00.003+08:00

Red like Lobster

You appear like raindrops, and leave like you sink through the streets you fall on.
Its that time of the year again when I hear things that remind me how human Jesus was. He was a real person whether or not you believe in the spiritual side of him (I do), was probably really cool to hang out and talk to as well. At least from what I've heard and read.

I had an honest great time today.

2008-03-22T00:40:00.006+08:00

Stars.

So overwhelming. One touch is all it takes before intense takes control. It flows, with a radiant glow, from your fingertips down to your toes. You succumb to its warmth and amore. It rejuvinates your soul.

You want it to last, just like the droplets of vapour on the other side of the glass. Like dew on grass in the morning. You think, maybe someone came with a pin and poked holes into the nothingness, so we could see heaven. You thank him for that. You think harder, and think it through, for something more to say, but the words don't come out right.

For love, is more than just good company. Appreciate it. Embrace it.

As I left for church this morning, I saw an eagle soaring above me. He looked like he was looking for breakfast or lunch, or whatever eagles eat in the morning. Anyway, he kept flying directly overhead, so I squinted my eyes and pretended I was holding a kite string that led all the way up to him. I got to fly that eagle for about six minutes, and headed for church, guilelessly satisfied.

2008-03-21T00:33:00.002+08:00

you're welcome. take it. take it all. every last penny. fuck ya'll.

2008-03-18T19:30:00.004+08:00

Take flight on the wind of wishing you were here

Fading light, like a star whose life has been gone for years.

80 pointer against greenridge. Oh how I am looking forward to monday. I can feel it in my bones.
Cheer up hun, merit ain't bad! :)

2008-03-18T00:39:00.002+08:00

Speak my mind.

championship. school. rugby. friends. O Levels. homework. girlfriend. drums. mother. grades. cash. music. father's health. time. education. rest. tomorrow.

2008-03-18T00:31:00.004+08:00

Quickest way to a man's heart

Colleen's muffins really changed my sterotypical impressions of food cooked in home econ classes in St Andrew's School (and maybe some other schools for that matter) - something must have gone wrong, somewhere.

Haha. Thank you babe, don't stop all right!

2008-03-18T00:18:00.008+08:00

I wonder how many people notice when stars burn out

The day started off like any other school day, same people, same faces, except I realised that something was missing.

During class, I felt a perpetual tugging inside, a certain black that was draning me slowly. like an empty star. Cruel, I thought it was, there wasn't much of me left. Something was missing.

Looking at the empty seats around, I thought, why couldn't you fill up one of them? Wasn't possible. Nope, not here.
Not now.

When you give me your crazy eyes it makes me wonder what you're thinking. Caught me off guard. Good one.

When you laugh, I can't help but feel happy for you at the same time crossing every finger I own, hoping that you're genuinely happy.

I MISS YOU LIKE FUCK!

I.. I can't go on.

it only hurts more.

Or won't.

2008-03-13T23:28:00.002+08:00

Can you see?

When the stars burn out, button up during the cold.
Don't you get it? prove me wrong dammit!

2008-03-13T01:19:00.002+08:00

Take hold of the wheel.

What is this to you?
It burns to have doubts about the two people that mean the world to you. I don't have much to say, I am and have been too tired. Just take hold of the wheel, my wheel. Please keep showing me in different ways how much me and the things that I do really mean to you. Otherwise I might just be too tired to carry on.
Having doubts,
isn't the only thing that burns.

Perhaps we're not that far off after all.

2008-03-10T07:48:00.003+08:00

Count the stars, I can't even start. Maybe it was the numbing silence, cold to the touch. Maybe the night's still young..

I can't do it on my own. I want you right here right now.

2008-03-06T22:47:00.007+08:00

I close my eyes. your smile engulfs me.

Single word replies don't really work out, do they.
I can't drum even when it counts and it frustrates me. I watch Benny Grebb go and I think wtf I'm going to be better than him, but NO I can't drum. Sometimes I just wish she would just go and get it over with. Its killing me slowly. JUST GO GO GO GO JUST GO.

Its like a wordplay of emotions, I can't tell from black or white, or orange from dark blue. Can't decide either. Can't tell..
So much for school holidays.

Your smile fades in the black.

2008-03-05T23:24:00.002+08:00

There's a brilliant sky above,
and a jealous moon in love

This cold is making me feel more than nippy. What do I have to do to get the old you back?

2008-03-05T20:51:00.006+08:00

Broken down in bars and bathrooms

By keeping away from feelings, you dont make yourself stronger. Only weaker. By pushing away friends who care, you not only hurt yourself. You hurt us too.

Behind the facade of plastic smiles that hide his denouements is a boy who merely wants to love and be loved. Is a boy searching in all the wrong places. Why can't it be so easy?
Acceptance. Or the lack thereof. It burns deep. When the one you care about the most can't return the grace signed and sealed the way you want it.
It engulfs you.

IT KILLS ME INSIDE.

I worry.

2008-03-01T22:36:00.000+08:00

Angel & Mortal

What should I do. Any ideas?

2008-03-01T00:31:00.004+08:00

Oneself does not exist as one alone in this world. How do you help someone to help himself?

2008-02-29T22:26:00.004+08:00

Insecurites

Life can be a whore sometimes. There are days when you wake up, bursting with energy, knowing that you'll totally smash any impediment that comes your way, but sometimes, you just want to sleep in.
But, NO. There's school. You get periods lined up with fat teachers that take two thirds of an hour explaning everything but the topic we're supposed to cover and ones with thick makeup that threatens to report the class and our doings by taking photos with her camera phone, and then WHAM! This foxy young relief teacher comes into class and hands out a test, and everyone inevitably quietens down and actually finishes it. Okay, that was highly coloured. And besides the point.

My apologies if I'd hurt anyone in my rampage on the field in one way or another. I was just keeping up to a promise I made. No worries, there'll be more to come.

Cheerios.

2008-02-24T16:08:00.003+08:00

Its right there for the banging.

She's crying out

2008-02-23T19:01:00.004+08:00

This is your life, are you who you want to be?

Are you? Some of us are. I definately am not.
Hold fast to your dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. The greatest achievements were at first and for a time dreams.

I finally realise the reason for my neighbour's complians. Before, I thought why the hell couldn't they compromise since their kid played the piano. But the fact that their old, bedridden mother lives with them just came to my notice. She's in a stroke so she needs to be resting 24/7 and by resting she means peace and quiet throughout. Theres no compromise in that.

Can't help but think whats willing an old lady on the verge of death to carry on living. Where is she deriving her strength from? She's half alive. Would she be better off dead? She would no longer have to live in agony. Or was she already numb from all her calamities?
I'm only human.

Not being able to find the time to drum burns,
having my dreams hindered causes hemorrhage, and rapid uncoordinated twitching movements of the heart that causes a lack of pulse and circulation inducing a slow, arduous death.

The oak sleeps in the acorn.

2008-02-20T22:15:00.001+08:00

What's always (in the way)?

You don't always have to read your bible and pray everyday to grow, grow, grow.

2008-02-18T21:59:00.002+08:00

Shelby

Why do electronic metronomes cost so much?
I need to get on the drum throne now and play a funk groove, learn my five/fours and seven/eights. But NO, I can't. Not now. Wood between fingers is as far as it'd go.
This potential energy is dangerous.

2008-02-17T20:50:00.003+08:00

Sonofagun
walkage = achage

I want to do something huge now like make a big sound or a gut busting tackle, not sit around and copy stupid endless notes. Whadda lazy Sunday. (would have been)

Cheers to pre-suprises, suprises and post-surprises. and snooze buttons. and fuzzy hoodies.

2008-02-12T21:57:00.000+08:00

Blog spammage is stupid and doesn't deserve a response. Period.

2008-02-11T19:35:00.000+08:00

The Organic Anti-Beat Box Machine

Colleen was a dear and came to visit with Redoxon and a bunch of other homemade goodies. The fever's subsided and I'm feeling much better now.
Dj is back in business.

2008-02-10T21:39:00.000+08:00

my eye balls are bursting out of its sockets, my body can't decide if its hot or cold, i can't eat, can't sleep, i've lost weight, i'm sore all over, my common test is next week, i'm probabaly gonna miss my opening game. i need some fucken closure.

2008-02-08T19:33:00.001+08:00

And this is my mixed tape for her

It's like I wrote every note with my own fingers

A night ago I would've been right to say I had the hottest ass around.

Cheers to a fucked up new year spending the whole of the second day with a viral fever, strong enough to hold nothing but Scar Tissue up to my face and barely being able to read it.

2008-02-07T22:52:00.000+08:00

There was a hallucination of a mob of screaming people vomiting voraciously, violent fist fights and a child caught in between.

2008-02-04T22:18:00.000+08:00

Talks of tomorrow

Sunday was the best and the saddest.

We met up with Fredrich and lanned for a bit. Fooze-ed and perpetually got distracted by god knows what.
After what seemed like 3 minutes, the rest agreed they haven't gotten enough of Winter Mauling so they went, while we reminisced over a sub.

The first song we jammed.. (American Idiot.) When I won my first grand.. Coconut tree bubble bath.. ...(That was damn gay, come to think of it. But we were just kids.)

We talked of our plans when he would be coming back for good, and that included apartment rental, which meant free jammage, and a controlled consumption of booze. (if that exists)

After hanging out for a bit, we spotted a studio and dragged Dj over, where we rocked out hard. Chilies style.

"When I come back the next time you'll see I'll be 10 times better than my standards now."
We've known each other much earlier than when Anthony met Flea. Well, if this keeps up, I'll be anticipating something phenomenal.

Cheers to Scar Tissue making people wanna smoke pot and then having the Central Narcotics Bureau coming over to your school and telling you the dire consequences of drug abuse.

2008-02-01T01:25:00.001+08:00

Moment's

"I can't remember the last time I slept under these covers."

Colleen got me "The Everglow" and "Singularity" for 2nd month. She's so sweet, she tried to surprise me but, guess it slipped. Haha. Nonetheless, thank you very much. Ah, she fell asleep on the line. Long day she's had.

She's the Everglow.

2008-02-01T00:21:00.000+08:00

I'd give if you'll take it

We are formed and molded by our thoughts. Those whose minds are shaped by selfless thoughts radiate a sense of respect when they speak or act of it. It follows them like a shadow that never leaves.

Having to carry the guilt of watching someone taking the fall for you is unbearably intolerable. Even if he says he did it on his own accord. My sincere apologies again, if only you'd accept.

And thank you.

2008-02-01T00:12:00.000+08:00

Day Late

I hate illusions and the way they seem to fit so perfectly over everything else - Like the first flakes of snow welcoming winter in its changing leaves. Blanketing reality with infinite purity. It takes you out on a ride, and ignites your senses.

You succumb in indulgence.

2008-01-29T06:58:00.000+08:00

Recently i have found that life is much more complex, oddly enough i have discovered this complexity in the simplicity of monotony. Its when our lives settle into a groove when you find out what is most important.

2008-01-28T18:58:00.000+08:00

I meant to post yesterday or today, but fortunately I've been able to have enough fun things to do, like math, and chinese essays, and being preoccupied thinking about people and the decisions they make, that I haven't been able to spend any extra time on the world wide web of lies.
Ta.

2008-01-24T01:44:00.000+08:00

mae mae mae mae maybe..

I need you here, tonight
Just like this night
Needs the rain

"why is the sky blue? why do cows moo?"
she's tired.
"all your fault i started rhyming."

2008-01-21T11:25:00.000+08:00

Guess whos back

Tour was okay, I guess. Accomplished what we set out for - the team is alot closer now.

17th Jan - sain selangor (25-17)
We beat the state champions in I think my best game so far. But still not convincing enough.

19th Jan - Royal Military College (12-15)
A 3 point difference game. (i've always hated losing by a close score ever since the c division semis against ri) Our opponents were bigger and so were our hits. We nailed them each time when they were on their 12-phase run.
We went down swinging.

Cheers to seeing all the suprised faces. (no spoilers please)

2008-01-16T21:25:00.000+08:00

Don't leave me high.
Don't leave me dry.

The Chinese classroom is a time warp zone where everything moves in slow-motion upon entrance. The teacher emits sleeping gas as she speaks, and if you look hard enough, you might even spot floating sandcastles.

Today The man woke up a little late (at 7), left the house at 7.20 and managed to reach school before the bell rang. (i have no idea how i pulled that off) But unfortunately, the day didn't end off as awesomely as it started.

I've developed a new kind of phobia. (more like the relapse of an old one) Its the abruptleaveationophobia. I don't think I'd have the balls to stare down the throat of another one of those again. It's ineffable. Sucks as hell isn't even close. In every possible way.

I do not get goodbyes. What is so good about saying "bye"? It should be more like bad (thisissofreakinsadwhenthehellamievergonnaseeyouagain) bye. Good lord, I should stop lamenting and start packing.

I'll be leaving for a rugby tour to K.L from tomorrow to Sunday. Catch ya'll when I get back.

2008-01-13T20:43:00.000+08:00

Dejavu

Mae - We're so far away

Remembering, everything
About my world and when you came
Wondering, the change you’d bring
Means nothing else would be the same
Did you know, what you were doing
Did you know? Did you know
How you would move me, well
I don’t really think so
But the night came down
And swept us away
And the stars, they seemed
To paint the most
Elaborate scene, today

How could we know, that song, this show
We learned so much about ourselves
From Toledo, to Tokyo
The words were scribed on every page
And now there’s books up on our shelves
Did you know, how you would move us
Did you know, When the lights
First came upon us, and we
Saw the everglow
And the moments magic swept us away
And the young mans dream
Was almost seen so plain

When was the night
That showed us the sign
Revealed in the sky
To leave all behind
But where to begin
Throw the caution, to the wind
We’ll reach for the stars
Everything is now ours

Did you know, how you would move me
Did you know? Did you know
How you would move me well
I don’t even think so

But the moments magic swept us away

And it’s so close
But we’re so far away